may 16th

may 16th 2001 is the day my life ended,

when the world crashed down into darkness,

and my heart collapsed under the pressure,

it’s been 17 years today…17 years exactly,

and yet sometimes it still seems like yesterday,

or sometimes it feels like it never happened at all,

like I’ll walk into a room and she’ll be there,

but that’s just theoretical heresy in my head,

but don’t be fooled by what they say,

ghosts do exist, but they’re just embedded mentally,

never to leave you and haunt you forevermore,

as it seems though, even ghost has its angel,

a little something of the good reminders,

the thoughts that we tend to push away,

because feeling pain is so much easier,

live on those memories that spark the good,

it’s the only way to keep yourself sane,

it took me years to realize this,

and while most may 16th(s) aren’t as painful,

there are some that still are,

that stab through and twist deep,

and after a good cry, because indeed one is needed,

a deep breath and a smile and a reminder,

helps ease the pain and take off the edge,

and it gets me through until the next year,

when I just play roulette with how I’ll feel,

but I spin and take the chance,

and deep down I know I’m making her proud.